The Rules of Acquisition

Posted on Thu Jun 20th, 2024 @ 8:14pm by Lieutenant JG Nezuko & Commander Thomas Johnson

1,325 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Starship Graveyard
Location: Crash Site of D'Kora-class Ferengi Marauder FMS Assessor

Thomas walked out of the ship, looked around, in the distance he could still see the back smoke that was emanating from the borg cube. It had been days since their away team, but it was still burning.

As per protocol, he had several officers from security with him. A Medic, and operations that the Lt had been kind enough to lend him. If this went as planned, they would be able to tell if the ships engines would be able to be... jerry rigged onto the Tokyo.

It took a half hour to get to the exterior of the ferengi territory. He paused, placed his weapon on the ground and raised his hands. Now it was to wait for a response.

The dark orange hull of the D'Kora-class Marauder Assessor had been sinking slowly into the muck of its crash site at a rate of 35cm per year. The lower deckers had wagers on when specific compartments would become submerged. The phaser control room on the uppermost deck had been converted into an access hatch for an ad hoc observation tower, always manned by someone, usually whoever couldn't afford to bribe the scheduling officer that day. The shift leader was sitting comfortably inside the enclosed control room, safe from the high winds and occasional rain that could be comparable to what they got back home, when suddenly the upper hatch opened.

"You're not due for a break for another two hours!" Lieutenant Ruk called toward the open hatch.

"No, sir, we have something to report!" A crewman stuck his head down into the control room. "Bearing two-seven-nine. They look like Hew-mons!"

"Plenty of Hew-mons roaming this planet," Ruk said dismissively.

"These ones look different!" the crewman added. "I don't recognize their uniforms, and neither does Brack. Their leader stood at our perimeter and set his weapon down!"

Oh, this was news. Perhaps profitable news. "Keep your eyes on them," Ruk ordered. "Send Brack to bring a security team to the Vault, just in case they want our treasure. And stay on the rifle. If the DaiMon orders a kill shot, you get a bonus. And his boots." His communicator was long since dead, but the path from the control room to the tunnels would bring him past the DaiMon's office.

**

A cluster of hatches opened up around the Tokyo expedition team and out popped five Ferengi, three wielding phaser pistols and the other two armed with energy whips. One of the phaser-carrying ones laughed as he walked closer to the unarmed Starfleet officer.

"Good work, Ruk," he said to the whip-wielding Ferengi to his right. "If this is profitable, you'll make Sub-DaiMon for this." He walked to just outside arms reach of Johnson. "Good day, Hew-Mon. I am DaiMon Parin. What brings you and your armed thugs to my domain?"

"My name is Commander Thomas Johnson, recently arrived by the same forces that is trapping you here. However, my crew has discovered a way that we may be able to leave this planet." He turned to his people. "Lower your weapons officers." He replied. "I have a proposition for you guys, that will enable you to escape this planet as well."

"A proposition?" Parin asked, curious. "For escape?" He stood as tall as he could, reaching at most 5' 2", and cocked his head to the side. "I'm listening."

"But DaiMon!" said Ruk. They had lost so many over the years. Raiders, some who came as friends and others who came with weapons, had taken the lives of their comrades and even worse had made off with good, useful technology. How was the DaiMon forgetting Rule of Acquisition number 68: 'Risk doesn't always equal reward'? Or number 15: 'Dead men close no deals'?

Parin shook his head and tsked at his officer. "Poor, foolish Ruk. You're forgetting Rule of Acquisition number 263: 'Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Latinum'. Hew-Mon Johnson, we will hear your proposition. Out here. Away from our holdings. I'm not stupid enough to take you inside."

"Fine... out here..." Thomas replied as he took a pad out from his pocket. "I have a list of things you may possibly be interested from our ship. Being newly arrived to the planet, our supplies has not been diminished, therefore we may be able to supply you with things you may be interested in. However, we do require... your engines. It may assist us in leaving this planet... when I say us... that means anyone that wants to get off this planet."

"Oh you just want our engines? Is that all?" the DaiMon asked, sarcastically. "Well I suppose they're doing us no good,” he admitted. “You want our engines, and you take us and our belongings off this planet?"

"What ever you have that we can fit in our ship, which will be under lock and key if you wish. Then you get to get off this planet, and able to make profit where it will actually do you good."

DaiMon Parin considered the words and then nodded. “We will begin preparations for departure. Send your engineers to extract our engines at your convenience, but they will require escort while aboard our ship. When it is time for us to evacuate to your ship, your security teams will escort us there.” As he spoke, he typed on a PADD and tossed it to the Starfleet officer. It was written in Ferengi text and full of barely comprehensible financial/legal language even if they translated it. “A contract. Bring it back, signed, when your engineers return.”

"Very well." Thomas stated as he glanced it over. His ferengi was not up to par with the complicatedness of this contract. But knowing the ferengi... this went far too easily. He turned to his security officers, and ops officer... "Lets get back to the Tokyo and prepare."

A chorus of "yes sir's followed.

"Oh and just so you know I am aware of ferengi customs..." He reached around, took a pack off. He dumped the contents of the bag down.

Parin, Ruk, and the other Ferengi present all watched, cocking their heads. What was this Hew-Mon doing? And which customs was he referring to?

Amongst the stuff was a pouch, it was neither small nor large. "I have currently no use for these, so i figured there would be of better use for you. When we get out of here." He opened the pouch, and dumped the contents out on the sand in front of the group. A few dozen bars of latinum poured out of the bag... "I do understnd that trust can be bought... I also know that betrayal can also be bought for the right price."

Parin gestured for Ruk to approach the pile and look it over. He clanged two of the bars together. They had the right weight and resounded with that most acoustically pleasing tone. He nodded to his DaiMon.

"You seem to know us well, Hew-Mon," Parin said, grinning, his sharp teeth on display. "I have been here a long time, and when I last saw the stars, Hew-Mons and Ferengi had only just become formally acquainted. It seems in those intervening decades your people have come to know ours well. Ruk, bring those to the vault and begin preparations. The Federation officer has secured his people against betrayal. Rule of Acquisition 98: 'Every man has his price'. He has met ours, and I know for a fact that none of the others can beat his offer. Well played, Hew-Mon. I shall see your people soon."

With that, he turned away, while Ruk collected the dozens -- dozens! -- of bars. He briefly considered pocketing one, but while the perimeter guards mostly watched the Starfleeters as they left, one had his eyes on Ruk.


END


DaiMon Parin
Commanding Officer, FMS Assessor

Sub-DaiMon (promotion pending fee payment) Ruk
Security Chief, FMS Assessor

Commander Thomas Johnson
Executive Officer, USS Tokyo (NCC-91101)

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