It's Okay to Not Be Okay

Posted on Sat Dec 16th, 2023 @ 12:57am by Petty Officer 1st Class Yoshika Miyafuji & Captain Elizabeth F. "Liz" Beurling

2,052 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Starship Graveyard
Location: Corridor/Sickbay
Timeline: Before the away teams depart

Captain Elizabeth Beurling hadn't been the same since that fateful encounter:

When the Marine XO had spotted him with Chiyo in the corridor, Liz had been unable to resist her Vulcan impulse to rush up and kiss him, passionately, full on the lips. This had gone down about as well as one would think, and it ended with him pushing her off and rejecting her as he had done in the past, harshly reprimanding her that he didn't see her 'that way...'

Ever since, Liz had felt like her very blood was on fire, and there was only one person in the universe who could extinguish the flames. But that person didn't reciprocate the feelings she harbored for him, and as a result, hatchets Liz had thought she had long-buried after years of working with Chiyo dug their way back up to the surface.

And now with Liz supposed to be going on an away team, one which would separate her from him, she knew she needed some help before she could go.

As Liz made her way towards sickbay, she began having flashes of memories: Her stripper gig at his bachelor party, becoming the dinner table after the show; some of the other guys joking that they would gladly hump the "table," but not him...

Just steps from sickbay it all became too much for Liz to bear, and she started to break down:

"He's mine... You don't deserve him..." She began to jitter. "You don't deserve him. HE'S MINE! NO!"

Before Liz could stop herself, she began banging her head into the bulkhead in the dim hope that perhaps she would knock herself unconscious and be discovered by a reg in teal.

Yoshika was returning to sickbay with a medical kit in her hand. She looked exhausted, but also worried. As she turned the corner she spotted the Marine Captain on the floor.

"Captain!" She exclaimed as she rushed forward and crouched down. She rolled her over and clicked open her medical tricorder.

"Ugh..." Liz groaned, evidently having failed to knock herself fully unconscious. "Tatsuo?" She asked weakly.

"No... Miyafuji..." Yoshika replied simply as she helped the Captain to a sitting up position.

"Ah, damn..." Liz grumbled. "Kid, I'm sorry to sweep you up in my personal drama..."

"Come on..." Yoshika said as she held her up. "Lets get you to somewhere safe. Luckily you're right outside sickbay. Then you can tell me what's going on."

"I'd say I was lucky I broke down outside..." Liz muttered. "Otherwise y'all would have slapped my ass in a straight jacket and thrown me in a padded cell."

"A Vulcan breaking down?" Yoshika questioned. She helped the Marine Captain to her feet. "Come on. Maybe you should see Counsellor Johnson?"

"What good is seeing counselor Johnson going to do?" Liz questioned. "I don't think she's going to be able to fix my problem..."

Yoshika helped the Captain into the sickbay, luckily at this moment it was pretty empty. "How about a friend?" she asked with a small smile.

Liz sighed.

"Perhaps..." She muttered. "But that would depend on how far that friend would be willing to go..."

As Liz talked, she began to have another hot flash, and undid her uniform enough to reveal her cleavage. The Marine Captain didn't have a killer figure, but she was far from flat.

"So, tell me, Miyafuji:" Liz asked. "How much do you know about Pon Farr?"

Yoshika pondered for a few seconds. "Honestly, not that much. I know it's a biological reaction driving Vulcans to mate and it occurs every seven years. Apart from that nothing," she told her with a small smile.

"It's something very few Starfleet doctors are equipped to deal with, and for good reason:" Liz explained. "Vulcans consider it an embarrassment, and it's not discussed much outside of Vulcan circles. You are right about it being a neurochemical imbalance that happens once every seven years of a Vulcan's adult life, but that only applies to full Vulcans or part Vulcans who embrace logic like Warrant Officer Roromiya. For part Vulcans who reject logic and embrace emotion like I do, the Pon Farr cycle becomes a bit less... Predictable. If well-managed, we can usually have our Pon Farr every seven years like our full-blooded and logic-embracing brethren. However, if we're not careful, there can be... Certain triggers that could cause the Pon Farr sooner than that."

Liz wiped her forehead.

"I have no doubt that the symptoms I've been experiencing since the crew of the Redemption showed up are those of my Pon Farr." She surmised. "Not to sound logical or anything, but my previous three Pon Farrs over the course of the last 21 years have all happened on schedule as they should. And what's worse is that a Pon Farr, if left untreated, can be fatal."

"I didn't know that," Yoshika replied. "Can I ask... are you currently experiencing... you know..." she didn't want to say it outloud incase Liz felt embarrassed.

Liz nodded.

"I've almost always been able to satiate my Pon Farrs by taking a mate, as the imbalance normally calls for. But this time, I fear it might not be possible, as the mate I want, I cannot have." Liz sighed. "Perhaps I might have to seek a new way to satiate my Pon Farr, and challenge Major Shimada to a Kal-if-fee to prove to me that she is worthy of having him..."

"Are you talking about that Lieutenant that came aboard from the Redemption?" Yoshika asked curiously.

"Yes, that's him." Liz said. "Do you remember my dead friend that I told you and Bishop about before Gamma Zednor?"

Putting two and two together, Yoshika finally realised. "Ah... So. Thats him huh?" she asked. "But I thought he was the husband of Major Shimada?"

"Was about to marry her, last time I saw him." Liz muttered. "Unfortunately, they didn't have the time to tie the knot before the Redemption vanished and, now we know crashed here. But, just because he was dating another woman didn't stop the feelings I had for him. You're young, and you probably don't understand..."

A nervous expression emerged across Yoshika's face. "Actually I do." she said in response. "I know far too well how much love hurts, but I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now." she paused for a moment. "Would you like me to call the counsellor for you?"

"I've told you before, Counsellor Johnson is probably ill-equipped to deal with Pon Farrs." Liz responded. "And while I'm more keen to talk about it to close confidants than your typical Vulcan, I'd still rather not explain it to a counselor I barely know."

Yoshika wasn't sure what to do in this situation. "I can't just leave you like this. Should I contact Doctor Hinamori? She's the medical officer who looks after the marines and starfighters?"

"I'm not sure what makes you think Doctor Hinamori is better equipped to deal with Pon Farrs, but if it makes you feel any better, go ahead and contact her." Liz muttered.

"She might not be 'equipped', but she should be able to help with the symptoms." Yoshika replied. She looked up and down the medical bay before turning back to Liz. "Exactly what will cure this? You can't operate like this..."

"I've already told you what my options are:" Liz responded. "I could meditate intensively, but that's out of the question. I could invoke kal-if-fee against Major Shimada and kill her for Tatsuo, but that doesn't sound smart... There is a third way, but... Nah. that's too much to ask..."

"Well, if the only two options aren't feasable. Whats the third option?" Yoshika asked. "Remember that I'm one of the medical staff, everything you tell me is confidential. If there's a way we can cure you, I need to know all options."

"The third option would be for me to take a mate." Liz said. "Since Tatsuo would be out of the question without first killing Major Shimada, that means the next person on my list would be... Well... You. But, you and Bishop are so happy together, I wouldn't want to be a source of friction between you two. Besides, there's probably not a lot you'd find attractive about an old broad who's been around the block multiple times before you were even born..."

Yoshika couldn't help but blush. "Erm..." she said not sure how to exactly what to do in this situation. "I mean..." she averted her gaze obviously getting flustered. "I know that Lyn isn't here right now. For all we know she could be.... you know..." Yoshika said. She was trying to hold back her own tears from the possibility of losing Lynette for good. However deep down she was hoping that she was still alive.

"Is there no other option? I don't think she would mind if it was a 'medical procedure' to help out a friend... Even if it does have some moral questions..." Yoshika said her voice a little shaky.

"Unless Doctor Hinamori has any other ideas, those were the only three options I know from my upbringing." Liz said.

Yoshika swallowed. She seemed a little nervous about the idea of doing That with the Marine Captain. "Can't you do a mind-meld thing to help? Does that work on Vulcan/Human hybrids?" she asked curiously.

"Perhaps..." Liz said. "But chances are, there's not a Vulcan on this ship who could be convinced to mind meld with someone as illogical as myself, even if it was to relieve a Pon Farr."

The young petty officer nodded. "I don't even think Warrant Officer Roromiya will be able to help with that one..." she said in response. She then let out a hugh sigh. 'Lynette, If you're still alive and we meet again. I'm sorry. But I need to help her...' she thought as she looked the Marine Captain up and down. "I guess then I'll have to help you in the way you suggested..."

"... Your quarters or mine?" Liz asked in a hushed voice.

A strange chill ran down Yoshika's spine. 'This is the right thing to do... Its a 'medical procedure' right... Its helping out a member of the crew right?' she thought to herself. 'But what would Lynette say? Would she allow it? Is this the right thing to do? But... I may never see her again...' her expression dropped to sadness for a moment. 'She'd want me to be happy regardless right... This means nothing. It means nothing right now... Ok Yoshika.... Fine...'

She looked up at the Marine Captain. "Yours." She said simply.

Liz nodded before tapping her combadge.

"Beurling to Rudd;" She said. "Beginning now, you are acting Marine XO. Get with Major Shimada and make sure everything's where it needs to be."

"Understood; Rudd out." Came the Rheuysian's reply.

When the com frequency disconnected, Liz stood up.

"Don't worry, Rudd and I are tight:" She assured Yoshika. " She'll give us our space..."

"Ok..." Yoshika said. "You're 100% sure about this?" she asked once again. She wanted to be sure that what they were about to do was right and was completely warranted.

"Do you want me to kill my sister-in-arms in combat instead?" Liz asked. "Or do you want her bring you up on charges of malpractice for allowing me to die on your watch?"

"Killing is bad..." Yoshika said in response. She looked towards the sickbay doors. "And I don't want to be responsible for you losing your life..."

Liz had slept with enough people to know when to play assertive and when to play submissive, and Yoshika's stalling for time was a key indicator that she would have to go into assertive mode to get what she wanted.

So, she grabbed the young petty officer's wrist and began to lead Yoshika out of sickbay, ready and willing to utilize her Vulcan strength if needed.

"Then, let's quit wasting time, shall we?" She said in a noticeably more assertive tone.

Posting by:

Captain Elizabeth F. "Liz" Beurling
Marine Executive Officer

Petty Officer 1st Class Yoshika Miyafuji
Medic

RSS Feed